It's so very silent tonight
And I can feel Your breath
Hushing my thoughts
The world
Submerged
And mute is
Drowning in sleep
But He awakens my feet to stir
And my tongue to turn to whisper His tongue
Into a pale and biting
September frost.  

Hope Dies

Your knees--
Grinding into the dry unforgiving dirt
While your hands upturned for a kiss
Or a promise
Burn and peel
Bared for the sun.

The emptiness where a lover's heart and hand fit
But didn't fill
Spills over onto the street
Where no one flicks an eye
Your way.
Or a care.
But you scream and tear
And hope.
And hope dies.

I choke up my ego

When I meet myself on the wall

As if for me to not see me

Makes it all go away.

  

You Were

You were the faithful dawn

Set into motion by the sun

And you were the stars 

Taken up with the blackening night

And you were the tide

Lapping and sloshing across the ever melting maw of the unknown--

You were.  

I'm not loved

For who I am

But for who

I'm thought to be.

I'm not loved

For who I am

But for what

You see me as.  

  

You

This is no time for fluffy words

And veiled spite 

Or around the bush beating

Niceties drop, night skies of blues

And your dreamy plays are taken up with the night and

Through your lips this all slips, 

Dripping with sickly red palaver.

Essence of Self

Do memories

Compose the essence 

Of my life?  

Human, struggling,

Broken, non-functioning--

But,

Trying.

If I forget my past and

My very self fades

Leaving me lacking in definition, 

Self, indefinitely unconceived,  

My future's future, left undefined 

And my future's dismal future, demised.         

Untitled

The delicacy
Of your touch denies me
My own fruition
And the intensity of your eyes
Ravages my heart
As a foreign force
Invades a bared land
But is not
The charged press
Of your finger tips
My only abandon?
And is not the intensity
Of your gaze
A surrender welcomed by passion?

Those Whom We Have Let Slip Away (Edit)

I was walking through a place above the clouds
Where the light splattered across the air like paint
And the darkness was set apart from it,
There was nothing beneath my feet, yet I stood and
There was nothing to breath, yet my chest heaved in glorious abandon,
No sun or moon or stars filling the emptiness which reigned over that foreign place and
Creation, no more to anchor my mind in what I perceived as "reality"
No longer at my side to aid.

A change in the wind threw into me
An acrid vapor to spite my tongue
And my heart suddenly cried out in agony--
"Once was this my reality"
And the air upon which I was abased
Heedlessly disintegrated into raven ash
Throwing my body into oblivion beneath,
Lying before me amidst the red glowing darkness
A sea of roiling bodies and ravenous eyes
Whose arms arose as serpents, twisted, worms, deformed,
Around my ankles they writhed, dragging me netherward. 

Oh, but the horrors which plagued the landscape
And the unbridled bestial butchery of men--
Oh, but the sadistic Spirits,
Laughing and screeching and
Branding upon those who were wandering about the reddened mist
Murderous intent and blasphemous utterances,  
Their own tattooed and blackened leather hides
To them did dictate.  
Incessant screaming tore through my head,
A shrieking to which all minds in the pit were chained
A terror that gripped your very inner self with its claws,  
Subjected, I helplessly dragging my eyes from one harrowing scene to the next
But then,
A whisper came carried upon a sudden wind
And it said

"Let you who have eyes
See the innocents
Whom you allowed to slip away"

And then, oh horror of horrors
A blood rain to dye
The Stygian sky
And detached limbs
Tumbling through space
Striking the fiery earth beneath my feet
Began a grisly retort among the weeping,
Gushing bodies piling over
Arms and legs entangled in knots
Splattering across the burning plane, Hades,
And I, who heard the whisper above the deathly wail
Compelled without reason
Bent to draw up to my eyes 
A disassociated limb but
Once though near, grew upon my face impressed
Words branded by cold iron
And to my eyes an anguished cry, fleeting tear,
I held in my arms a baby
Whom I allowed to drown by
Alone my tongue withheld,

I now wakingly dream every sleepless dusk to dawn
Of the streets of hell piled high, mangled infants piercing me with their hollow eyes
Sobbing they beg for me for them to stand.        

I hate Her. 
She bars my way
And stares into my eyes,
Almost accusingly,
But I look away, unable to behold
My own shameful existence
But I can live justified!  
I don my deserved self hatred--
If this man I see
Doesn't wish himself away
He is naught but deceived
That he deserves the life
Love has given him.   

A small cry seeps past lips like rubber

Into the stale air of a white room,

Begging for the knife to be withheld.   

Who You Are

Who you are--
It's what drives you
To define you as you
It's what tries
To change you into you.
It's what grips your soul
To act and morph
Into something you are
But not yet
As if your future you
Is locked inside you
And only one who hold the key
Is you.  

Who you are
Is all you have
And if that's all you have
Then that's all that can be stolen.
Who you are
Is all you have
And if that's all you have
Then that's all that can be given.