They tell me not to be sad

To lift my eyes and kiss my scars goodbye

To see the horizon breaking the chains of my past

To believe I'm unharmed by the words that shaped me into who I am

But am I not only a man?  

Can I believe reality to be but a dream 

And change my pain to joy?

Can I outlive my memories 

And break their hold on me?  

Or will they not to the grave follow me 

And only give me peace when I sleep? 

Life, have mercy and give me but one moment of peace

One moment to breath

One moment to see clearly.

No one can understand you
And no one ever will
No one can live inside your suffering
Even the only one you love
So just give up and let it all go
Because even for her
It doesn't feel worth the struggle til dawn.

Press your palms
Against mine--
Feel the flaws
Of time
And know
I to you, resign. 

I'm taken up with your hands
Subtly heating my wind brushed skin
And the whispers your lips slowly mouth
Set under burning reds dripping down dusk's face
And your gaze frozen into mine
By deathly blues choking life from the hour--
What lies beneath your eyes?
And what dreams is your heart possessed by?
I to tell this
Is as I to tell of dimmet's call for passionate cries.  

I turn my eyes away from my life
Like it's a horror film
And I'm the one they kill off--

I'm the lost boy, suspended in doubt
Waiting, just waiting for mom to find out,

I see you walking away
Holding someone else's hand
And then I awake
Screaming for it to just end,

I relapse into my feverish rest
Where I meet you face to face
But you push me away,
Rejecting my embrace

Lost among the folds of my imagination
Twisted and tangled, hopelessly strangled
Suddenly then, a pillow comes down
Laced with vengeful passion.

Again I'm sitting in a chair
While the floor meets my stare
Nothing brings me comfort
Not anymore.

Again I'm pleading for peace
While my heart silently rages,
If there is a God guiding me
I won't find Him until the last of life's pages.

A Moment With You

A hand,
Your hand-
It rubs my shoulder
And drops.
A smile
A hint of white
Your medicine
For my heart.
Two eyes
Your eyes
A happy pair
Darting into mine
Out playing past sunset.

Flurry of colors splash across white, dying the blank sheet colorful bright,
Turning plain into beautiful stains, peaceful scenes or dying pains,
Flowers of pink to show serene, lain out in a tasteful fashion,
Full of light, full of passion,
Or not do you fancy the picture of nice dancing Nancy,
If a dark scene of hurt is your sort, man who did wrong awaiting fate in court,
Mothers dripping tears fall on lost precious babe,
World of grudges, world of pains,
Who started this madness, this crazy race of strife,
Young man, it’s the race of life,
Shaken back to his canvas, splashing organized paints into places,
His color taints all of the blank spaces,
Beautiful, dark, hard, bright, still,
Emotion of his mind painted so you won’t be blind, blind to his view,
Emotion of his mind.

What is life
What is love
If I don't feel alive
If I want to die?

What is reality
What is pain
If I can't at all feel
If I don't want to be?

What is pleasure
What is wine
The glass is always empty
The night everlasting.

What is breath
What is purpose
If at each draw
The air is tasteless.

You wouldn't understand
Nor could you hope to grasp
The weight I've bore
The price I've payed

Has there been
Have you seen
Someone more lost than me?

Has there been
Have you seen
Someone who loves as much as this
Because of the forgiveness he has received?





  

In a sea of faces

He is invisible
And in a sea of arms

There are no embraces

Amidst the masses

He stands alone

Among the thousands

He's the only one.

Don't you wonder if we could have one more day
Just to ourselves?
I wouldn't tell.
Don't you wonder if you can even one more day
Starve yourself of the taste?
It can't be replaced.
Would I jump off the wagon to be with you again?
And if I leapt would you meet me there?

Rolling Hills

I carry you in my pocket,

Right next to my license 

And a diminishing stack.

The decade old worn leather,

Barely holding it together.

You follow me through the pines

That seed our rolling hills

And among the impoverished--

Sad homes built on land fills.

To where the roads have no end

And the asphalt cracks into oblivion   

I only belong where the journey intends--

I behold your words again and again

And my lonely heart begins to mend.

Could I be the murderer
To steal away my mother's son?
And does anyone hear our screams
Or am I and my darkness the only ones?

I'm too hurt to write
I'm too lost to know
All these feelings that I have
Possess no words to let you know

The Wall

I met a man on the wall
But didn't know who he was
I met a man on the wall
And saw eyes that didn't trust
I met a man on the wall
And he shook his head in disgust
I met a man on the wall
But he turned his face away--
I can't see myself this way.

My Wall

When my day is done

I head on home
Just because that's where I go--
Through the door
To a chair
To the wall where I stare.
I don't have cares
Not anymore--
Life has lost its luster
And my days of late are ever darker.