Connotations

Life,
A word that has connotations,
Live,
Something, that you must
Do,
Did you and I, have a choice?
Was the must to die, picked by my father as a child?
The fool, for he was no child in body, only in
Soul,
Life,
A word that doesn’t express,
What it really means.

The Pains, The Struggles

I can’t take the struggle, I can’t take the pain,

I don’t understand why I must endure life, And all of Its hurts,

There is no one who understands, who I am,

And there is no one, who thinks of me as friend,

Every relationship, I break,

And every person, hates,

I can’t go into the streets, without crushing depression,

And unnecessary struggle against something,

I Don’t even understand,

People I meet, don’t want to talk to me,

Because I am repulsive, and don’t have anything,

To offer,

Sunk down so deep into the mud, I’ll never, never escape,

And my whole life,

Will be wasted trying to get away,

From the pain, that I can’t take,

And the struggle, that I won’t win

Wanting Cry It Out

An awkward stance, is what I’ve taken up towards you,
And it was nice, our pre-loss friendship,
But you declared a break of my thoughts,
And snapped the thing holding the balance,
I feel I am betrayed, or that I’m the betrayer?
I don’t what this life is supposed to feel like,
And I try to get it right, but only end up hurting myself,
And crying out the pain,
Crying it out into the night,
And the one thing I must say to you that I can’t,
Is
Please stop hurting us.

Seasons

Seasons come and go
During my life that injure me,
Again and again

Hard

There is a day, when a man finds out who he really is,
And there is a day, when a man, learns the hard way,
The way a man changes, is hard,
I almost can’t stand it, the impossibility of it all,
It’s just so hard sometimes, that I want to give up,
There is a day, when a man learns he is a sinner,
And there is a day, when a man is crushed by the knowledge,

This life is so broken,
And so am I,
Like a twisted scene of death, is my sin to you,
This life is hard, and
There is a day when a man looks in the mirror,
And says,
Is this, who I’m going to be, for the rest of my life?

Jungle

The world is embraced by a jungle that swallows
Everything that enters it,
And if a man isn’t careful,
He becomes an animal, that lives there,
I imagine, one in each hand,
The man, and in the other,
The creature,
And they seem so similar, in their actions, and in the emotions,
The man has a drive to survive, as does the dog,
And a snake, isn’t afraid to bite, at the loss of others,
The man, a ravaged beast, that wearily crouches, an instinct gained from experience,
His face covered by the dark, and his heart is like the unreachable,
And this is what I fear,
To become a part of the jungle, and become as death,
My deepest terror,
Is that I will become an animal,
In the jungle.

Face

I, I am the person who doesn’t get it right,
And you are someone important,
At least more than me anyways,
As I go and look at myself,
I say,
"I can’t be one of them, for I’m weak,"
Weak spirited, and weak willed,
And this face of mine
Is the face of loss,
Is the face of an unbidden gift of grace,
Is the face of pain,
And this is the face, that I can’t stand,
On my face there is a brand,
“This is not what God planned”
I will never live to my potential,
This is the face,
That tears run down, because,
That face, can’t even help itself.