What am I?

Writing and spelling,
Not happy with my words,
Not sad, just not happy,
I can’t seem to find a pattern in my spinning thoughts,
Random things flying by, distant days that have no plans,
Past hurts, could I put words to them?
Past joys, would you even understand?
Should I even try to write about my life pains?
You probably couldn’t relate,
Write about your life and I about mine,
Emotion cannot have words for all to understand,
Understanding is rare,
I don’t even know my own emotions, what do I feel?
What do I do that others like? What do I do that others hate?
What do I like? What do I hate?
What is my heart focused on?
I want to know what is happening,
Spinning life, I’m all dizzy,
Stop spinning me,
I want to know who I am.